Thursday, December 27, 2012

THE BRUERY BEER THAT TOTALLY RUINED CHRISTMAS

I'm wondering who's minding the vats over at THE BRUERY these days. Seems like he/she's only working halftime hours. Every time I get all over-excited about a new release by them - easily one of my fave brewers circa 2008-2011 or so - I either get all my hopes and dreams confirmed, or I totally get punched in the eye. Their hit-to-miss ratio in running about 1 to 1, and when they miss, they're missing bad (see "Tart of Darkness"). Anyone who's spent any time with my two beer blogs that past seven years probably knows that several Bruery beers rank among my all-time tip-tops, so it's painful when they trip over their shoelaces so badly as they did on this year's Xmas beer, "5 GOLDEN RINGS".

This is part of a series, you see. A beer every holiday season, based on the twelve days of Christmas. This is #5, folks. It's by far the worst, and it ain't even close. Purportedly a "Belgian golden ale", 5 Golden Rings tastes like one of those hideous Hawaiian king cakes that they like to hide those plastic babies in, but worse. Imagine that someone spilled a half gallon of Del Monte pineapple juice all over the cake before serving it to you, and then sheepishly shrugged their shoulders and said, "You still gotta eat it, because it's my birthday". I don't! I don't have to do anything I don't want to!!!, I said as this was swirling down my kitchen sink drain. 

It's an overly fruity pour-out that managed to both annoy me (I just spent $14 dollars) and disgust me (goddamn it I can't believe The Bruery would actually ship such an abomination). And this is the same outfit that can make a seasonal beer with yams called AUTUMN MAPLE and pull off one of the great ales of our time. I don't get it. You don't get this one. OK? 2/10.

1 comment:

Mark said...

Haha, I see you didn't age this one. I looked at my archives, and even though I gave this one a fair rating, it was still the worst rated Bruery beer I've ever had. It was disappointing. I was planning on picking up each of their 12 days of xmas beers for the cellar, but unless I see this at bargain basement prices, I think I'll skip this year's...